June 19 - Olivia Johnson

I didn't grow up Christian, and my parents separated when I was young. When they divorced my mom moved around me and my brother went with her, leaving all my family behind. Fast forward my mom gets married and settles down in Nebraska, and I start high school.

High school was rough, I was on alot of medication for ADHD, more than a kid should be taking. It didn't take long for me to become a "bad kid" but that's the title that I had: drugs, partying, stealing, everything under the sun. I was 15 years old at the time, I was feeling very alone just trying to fill the void even so young. It didn't help that my mom wasn't sober; her and her new found husband were functioning alcoholics. I got kicked out eventually so I was living at my friends house, and this friend was not a good influence. Every night we drank, woke up went to school hungover & high or sometimes still drunk if we even went at all. I thought I was a lost cause. My sister ends up coming to live in Nebraska, after 10 years of not knowing her she pities me and I end up living with her. She meets a guy gets engaged & we all move down to Alabama.

Living with my sister wasn't any different than the life I was living, I was still functioning off drugs, but now I had Authority to listen to. My sister's fiancé at the time was abusive and manipulative, me and my sister were slaves to him. I didn't know how to pray, but I tried. One night I got on my knees, put my hands together and said "God if you're real, please get me out of this situatio.n" I didn't know how real God was at the time but thank you Jesus that you were listening.

Pslam 66:17-20 "I cried out to him with my mouth, And praise was on my tongue."

If I had been aware of malice in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. However God had listened; he had paid attention to the sound of my prayer. Blessed be God! He has not turned away my prayer or turned his faithful love from me.

Psalm 145:18 "the Lord is near all who call out to him, all who call out to him with integrity."

That's when my sister, who had no idea I cried to God came to me and asked me if I wanted to drive to New Jersey, live with my uncle and learn about God. It was a miracle even how God had his hand upon me driving down to New Jersey from Texas! I had no insurance, no license, my friend and I were so high on drugs, we got a flat tire halfway, the list goes on. I thought for sure I was gonna have to turn around but we made it!

This was right before Covid hit. I moved in with my dad and still doing drugs and partying. I start to hangout with my cousin Gianna. I remember specifically one night, I had dinner with my uncle Jules, Gianna and the fam. He had asked me if I wanted to receive Christ right there at the dinner table - as he was saying it Gianna told him not to pressure me. I was so afraid to say it out loud. Inwardly I was ready to give everything to Jesus, for rescuing me from my previous prayer. That same night when I was alone in my room I prayed that sinner's prayer, and I thought that everything would change in an instant. That everything would be a fairy tale, that I wouldn't struggle anymore. How wrong I was. But Jesus does say his burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

My heart didn't want to give everything to Jesus, I still wanted to keep sins hidden, and seek Jesus at the same time. I learned very quickly you cannot serve two masters. I fell back into sin and for a few months walked away from God, trying to pursue a relationship that I knew in the end would not be. All summer I pushed Jesus out of my mind, went back to everything I used to do, felt alone but now felt wrong doing it, because I knew I was intentionally sinning. I opened my Bible once during this time. I opened to Mark 8:34-35 "If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it. But whoever loses his life because of me and the gospel I will save it."

Jesus was telling me to take up my cross, and deny myself. So I had to listen. At the time I did it because I had to, but now I'm so grateful for listening to friends and family! Because truly, Jesus is the way the truth and the life.

Remember friends, anything you have ever done, Jesus will never leave you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord is the one who will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged."