June 9 - Pat Biskey

This was one of those moments where God made himself present to me and I was looking elsewhere.

So, a brief history to help understand the situation is needed here. I’m in my late fifties, and until about 5 years ago I was an atheist. Bottom line: I didn’t believe there was a God at all, didn’t care, wasn’t relevant from my perspective. Then I was saved which was shared through my testimony a few months ago.

Living in the world like I was for fifty plus years created a conditioning that was from my surroundings so I was a product of my environment so to speak. I wasn’t out running around in a woke state of mind but I definitely thought that this life on earth was all that there was and I was ok with that.

A few weeks ago I was having a worldly moment so to speak. It felt that my faith was a burden, a chore, lonely, and I yearned for something more although I wasn’t saying it out loud or even to myself, more like hints of doubt that were toying with me. I was heading up Rt. 287 in the Bridgewater area cranking up some old music I once listened to. Not thinking about God or what he did for me at all. I wasn’t looking for a sign, I wasn’t looking for anything but some contentment in that moment. Tunes were loud, air drums being played, mind in an old familiar place that seemed peaceful. Oh how the enemy knows us and knows each string to pull to shut the shades to block the light. I never pray for God to prove he exists to me as I know he does but I know it’s in my thoughts buried deep and if I’m thinking it then God knows it.

As I was driving and doing my thing I looked up in the sky and saw the deep blue background and the puffy white clouds and thought what a beautiful day it was. Content, happy, and in my own world. After I looked up something I saw hit me like a ton of bricks, figuratively speaking that is. Now this is where it got odd. But as odd as it seems it was real and it was God. I saw a cloud and in the cloud I saw dark lines, not uncommon, could be a little rain or some denser area but my head didn’t go there. I saw the outline of the head of a lamb. Not a cloud that resembled a lamb’s head but as if the darker parts of the cloud were a detailed sketch drawn in the white cloud. I wasn’t searching, I wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t questioning at that moment or so I thought.

He revealed himself to me. He let me know that I wasn’t alone. Such love a grace from the lord to someone who subconsciously was in doubt.

Even as I write this tears start rolling down my face and when I spoke to John L. about this at Bridgefest; it was hard to not start balling my eyes out.

When I saw this I completely broke down. I had that same incredible, beautiful, loving emotional feeling like the day I first met the Lord. I looked at this lamb and without even one ounce of question I knew what it was and immediately knew why it was there. I broke down immediately in tears but they were tears of joy. As the road took a bend, the cloud was out of sight as it wasn’t high in the sky. Other clouds were high so I knew where to look as the road straightened out. I couldn’t wait to look at it again as I knew where it was since I could use the other clouds as reference. But as I came around that bend it was gone. Not only the image but I could not even find the cloud.

The enemy knows us well, but God not only knows us, He loves us. Just think, He gave his son to die for us. To die for sinners, the worst.

Would we do that? Would you give your child’s life, to be nailed to a cross for others? Probably not.

So since God knows each and every one of us in such detail he knew my thoughts, my motives, my way of thinking and how at that moment in my own thinking when I came around the bend expecting to see the cloud but not the drawing which is exactly what I would do, to be able to second guess what happened he removed it! For if I saw the cloud but not the lamb he knew that my analytical mind would clearly say it must have just been the correct angle and put me back in doubt. He knows me, loves me and without asking showed me he loves me and showed me that I am his.

God is Good! Thank you Lord for this moment. Thank you Lord for the undeserving Grace and Mercy you give us and we don’t deserve it. But you are wonderful, incredible, loving and all knowing, for you are our God. In your name Jesus, Amen.