January 25 - Amanda Vesce

So my name is Amanda Vesce, and this is the testimony of how the Lord got a hold of my heart. I grew up with a father who was Muslim and a mother who was a Christian, needless to say confusing a bit but my mother was practicing more of Christianity than my father being a Muslim. I believe I knew of the Lord when I look back but I didn’t know Him. So when I was a young child we went to Christian retreats, church on the regular and Bible studies as well. I saw a couple and thought I want to be like them one day. I wanted a purity ring and save myself for marriage. Oh how pretty of a picture I had, wholesome beautiful couple loving the Lord and that’s what I wanted for myself.

Unfortunately the next events that unfolded tore me away from the church and Christ. I was 12 years old and I was at a friends house for a sleepover, being a very naive young girl I thought nothing of it. That was the night that things escalated into an attack where I was bound down and raped with my mouth covered. I wanted so bad to cry out, but I felt I couldn’t. I denied what had happened when it did surface later, thinking if I pushed it down far enough that I could pretend it never happened. Following that event I headed down a bad path where I began to spiral more and more out of control, running with the wrong crowds, drug and alcohol abuse, juvenile detentions centers, rehabs overdoses, etc. I was so lost and I was so messed up. I couldn’t go back to church, I was hurt bad and God got the blame. As I began to get older even more and more destructive behavior became the norm and I got myself into abusive relationships because of my lack of self worth. During one of the relationships in particular I caught him cheating on me in our house, in our bed. I thought I would kill him and I wanted to, but just as the stupidity took over I heard a voice tell me very clearly “don’t do it”. He beat me up that day pretty bad, I was covered with bruises and even knocked out by him. When I awoke and out of the daze and I finally could get my head together I left. Being a girl with no self worth I went to go back the next day and I prayed to the Lord on my way there ”if this is it please send me a sign”. Sure enough I pulled up and the other girl’s car was there so I drove right by and never looked back. I listened to God that day as I did the day before.

Fast forward a bit and this behavior continued and escalated to the bar life, where lust and greed were at the center of it all. Fast forward a bit more where years later the abuse on my body as a result of my life style which I had caused, finally caught up to me. Crying in a pile of vomit, curled up in a fetal position on my floor is where I found myself calling out to the Lord knowing I can’t live like this no more or I was going to die. The next day I went to an AA meeting where I got clean. This is where I made friends with a guy who I eventually started to date and I followed to church to just be supportive at first. But when Pastor Lloyd did the alter call that night, the tug at my heart was undeniable. The Lord had told me to get up and I felt a struggle going on internally. After overcoming the fear of being the only person going forth, I forced myself up and answered it. It was there at CCOB on a Saturday night that I rededicated my life to the Lord and I felt the change ever since. Next came the decision to quit my job since I could no longer condone the sin in the bar. So chasing money or following the Lord was the choice I had to make and I prayed for the strength and opportunity to leave because it had been 13 years and cost me tons of money. Then came the day my manager disrespected me and that was the opportunity I was waiting for and I walked out and never to look back just trusting the Lord and that He was going to provide and He most certainly did.

After that I married that friend I met when I first walked into that AA meeting and by God’s grace we bought a house and have been blessed with two beautiful boys and counting? Lol After all I had gotten myself into with terrible hurtful men, the Lord has not only delivered me, but also brought me a man that is the epitome of what a Godly man, husband and father looks like. I pray by sharing this it can help others and the Lord will use it to minister to the hearts of people who may need to hear this. I am not here talking about this as a victim because I am not nor does this define me as a person because as we know we are new creations and there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. The Lord has built my character through these experiences. I encourage anyone who would like to talk more to please seek me out for I am an open book and it would be my pleasure to have a conversation.