April 11 - Bobbi Lawrence

Message to a Disabled Woman

When a child is born with a disability, it's heartbreaking, but that child learns from birth how to compensate for their disability. When we become disabled at anytime beyond that point, we may need to learn new ways to compensate for what's missing. We may need to learn to talk, walk, hear, or see in new ways, while we've been doing these things without thinking for years. We need to depend on Jesus to give us patience and to help us deal with the bitterness we may start feeling.

I am a twice widowed woman who is disabled because of my back. I have experienced God's love and grace in ways that are amazing. When my second husband was on a camping trip with some brothers in the Lord, I received a phone call to tell me that he was "missing". The men had been tubing down the Delaware River, and his tube came down and he didn't. I remember getting into the shower and pounding the shower wall and telling our Lord in no uncertain terms that He would not make me a widow again. Of course I've repented of it. For years before this happened, the Lord gave me this verse to chew on. Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (NIV). It took me years after Bill went home to understand what this meant. I now understand that this means to wait and trust in the Lord, and He will work things out.

For the past year, I've been dealing with a diabetic wound on the bottom of my foot. It is not healing well. I've been meditating on 2nd Corinthians 12 verses 7-10: 7) "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8) Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9) And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10) Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." I struggled for a while trying to understand how the Lord's strength could be made perfect through weakness, but it was explained to me that it is MY weakness that allows the Lord's strength to increase in me. I have come to the realization that my wound may never heal, and if that's the Lord's will, I am content with His decision.

Another Scripture that comforts me greatly is Proverbs 3:5-6: 5) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. 6) In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Since this is God's world, we don't always understand what His plans are. Sometimes He tells us, but usually He doesn't. He tells us in Deuteronomy 29:29 "The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law."

Learning to trust Jesus is a lifelong task, and by trusting in Him a little more every day, we can strive to trust Him without even thinking about it. It's not easy, but when we allow the Holy Spirit to guide us, we will trust in Jesus more and more each day. By trusting Him, we can depend on Him to help us with accepting our disabilities and how to live our lives despite them and allow Jesus to shine through us.