May 28
Proverbs 5:1-7:27
Minister and Bible commentator, Matthew Henry (1662-1714) said, "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved." This is a beautiful picture of that proper relationship of love and oneness between husband and wife. But this bond is frequently under attack. Recently I saw a long time patient of mine crying looking at her phone when I entered the room. Naturally I asked about the tears. She explained that she is going for therapy to help her with her ridiculous concerns which stem from her own father's infidelity. She explained that her husband's best friend just died (in his 50's), that the two couples were very close friends, but that now her husband was spending an inordinate amount of time with his best friend's wife, frequently on the phone, frequently receiving texts, etc. My advice was this was not in need of therapy, but a time to have a discussion with her husband. There should be no accusations, even though she finds herself suspicious, but these interactions are not appropriate. Many a good man and woman, with the best of intentions, have made this mistake before, when too much time is spent alone together. A few years ago a married friend of mine told me of a rekindled friendship with a former high school girlfriend on Facebook. He explained that as the weeks went by, she was beginning to explore the prospect of their getting together as "friends", conversations that his wife knew nothing about. I advised him to "defriend" her on Facebook. He thought that seemed cold, but I explained that his devotion is to his wife, not his old girlfriend. Billy Graham understood this reality and he committed to counsel, eat, or travel with another woman throughout his ministry only if accompanied by another person.
The advice in these verse are written to a son, but the flip side is just as applicable if it were written to a daughter. We read in Proverbs 5:3-6, "For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it." This is contrasted with what should be done in 5:15-18, "Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth." Many go through life believing no one sees, but we read in 5:21-23, "For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness." In this three chapter warning against sex outside of marriage, Solomon concludes in 7:24-27, "So listen to me, my sons, and pay attention to my words. Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her. Don’t wander down her wayward path. For she has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims. Her house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of death."
God has given us only one means for sexual gratification and that is between man and woman in marriage. Every other permutation is not from God. Some ask what the harm is in just looking or in pornography, yet Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Television, movies and social media have glamourized sex before marriage, homosexual relationships, adulterous relationships, etc. In fact, these entities seem to elevate every form of sex except that which God has put forth as proper, which should hopefully illustrate the evil place that these other recommendations arise from. Many will argue against placing limits around expressing their love towards others, but God knows much more about love than any self-proclaimed expert. Many confuse lust which is all about taking and self satisfying as opposed to love which is about giving to another. Many will state that the temptations are simply overwhelming, to which we should remember 1 Corinthians 10:13, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." Unfortunately, Solomon did not heed his own advice, and we will see in 1 Kings 11, how this led to so much shame, depravity, and godlessness in his later years. May we understand and take seriously God's prescription and God's warnings.
Messages from Pastor Lloyd Pulley: